How Many Lawyers Does It Take to Screw In a Light Bulb?

Answer:  None…They’re Too Busy Screwing  Everyone Else!

I just couldn’t resist this.  I received a notice in today’s mail that I am part of a “class” in a class action lawsuit against Sears. It seems Sears didn’t properly install an anti-tipping bracket on a series of drop-in and slide-in ranges. 

The notice went on to say that there is a pending settlement on the lawsuit where Sears will reimburse the “range owner” up to $100 if they had to have the bracket installed by someone else.

I’m sure the bracket is a good idea. and Sears probably should have installed it.  But here is the part that drives me crazy.  There is a section in the notice that says “Who pays the lawyers, And how much will they be paid?”  As Jerry Maguire once said “Show me the money!

“$17 Million dollars or less!  For $2 million dollars I would be happy to visit the home of every person who bought the range and install the bracket myself!

So what does this have to do with sales and selling?  Successful selling is about providing value to your clients.  If you provide value, your client or customer will have a reason to want to do business with you.  Somehow I cannot see the value the attorneys bring to the table in this class action suit, or most class action suits for that matter.  I guess it’s a good thing lawyers don’t have to provide value to their clients like the rest of us.

Great……Now I feel better!

NO! You Can’t Have Our Magazine and NO! You Can’t See All The Pretty Ads Inside

I’m confused.  Several days ago I went online to renew my yearly subscription to BusinessWeek magazine.  Then today I became concerned for two reasons.  First I realized I hadn’t received this weeks issue, and second I couldn’t find the charge on my credit card account.  (It’s great that we can do all these things online!)  So I called subsctiption services to see if the charge went through.  It did.

Then the fun and confusion began.  I told the customer service person about the missing issue.  She said they put my account on hold because they hadn’t received the payment.  This is where the confusion began.  The invoice said ‘please pay by October 3′rd.  I paid on September 22.  Ok, the could I get the missing issue? No.  We extended your subscription instead.  In fact you won’t get the October 8 issue either. 

I asked if they could be sent, and she told me I could read them online.  I knew that, but there is something convenient about reading a magazine in bed.  It’s also much easier than using my notebook computer in bed.  Well, you would have thought I was asking for the impossible.  I just responded with a disgusted tone in my voice and said, “Whatever.”  At that point she offered to mail me the Oct 1 issue.  I said thanks and I really did appreciate it.

This event raises a question in my mind.  Why does a publication that rakes in hundreds of thousands of dollars per issues (maybe it’s millions) from advertising make it so difficult for a subscriber to get their magazine.  Sure I could read it online, but then the advertiser loses more than I do.  Online I won’t see all those ads inside the printed version.  I would think they would want as many readers as possible to see their magazine.  They get to charge their advertisers based on the subscription numbers!

Well, all is well now.  I will get my magazine.  Maybe I need to get a life!

Hey Dude, Know Your Customer!

I am always amazed that when it comes to marketing how little companies know about their customers.  They spend millions on marketing, and research.  The people in their marketing departments have their MBA’s and their alphabet soup of letters after their names, yet their efforts continue to miss the mark.

I have a credit card from Washington Mutual bank.  To get this card of course, they must know a lot of information about me, especially my age.  Let’s just say I have passed the half-century mark and let it go at that.  So why then do I get an email marketing letter from them with a picture of a “twenty something dude” barefoot and jumping in the air with his “air guitar”?  The advertising copy reads:

Are You Ready To Rock?
We’re turning up the volume on WaMu benefits with the launch of the WaMu LIVE!™program, providing unique onsite concert experiences and more.

With WaMu LIVE!, WaMu is offering perks like tickets, special WaMu entrances, access to venues before doors open for shows and access to premier parking (at select shows and venues).   As George, Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine would say “Yada, Yada, Yada.”  I must be old, I’m quoting from a sitcom that hasn’t been on TV for seven years.

Someone at WAMU didn’t do their homework.  Know your customer.  Speak his or her language.  Chances are you will have a better chance of getting through with your message.

Thanks, Gracias, Merci

A brand new Lowe’s just opened in my town in Maine.  I stopped in today, partly out of curiosity and partly to buy weed killer.  I noticed something that I had seen in other Lowe’s stores.  Everything is bilingual. Signs throughout the store are in  English and Spanish.  I am sure it is a coporate policy and in some parts of the US it makes sense.  However, in Maine the prevalent second language is French.  Maine has a long history of French-Canadiens as tourists, visitors, and many citizens who are of French-Canadien heritage.

It seems to me that a large chain of stores (there are several Lowe’s stores in Maine) would do well to research the local market and act accordingly.  Once again a large corporation shows how they try to formulate things so much, that they miss their target.  Sometimes local input and research can make a big difference.  The same holds true of anyone in business attempting to serve a customer (new or one of long-standing), take some time to get to know your cusotmers.  You’d be surprised what you may learn.

Summer Music In The Park

Summer in Maine.  The image comes to mind of leisurely sitting under a shade tree, enjoying lemonade and listening to soft music.  No thank you.  I live in Scarborough, Maine and we have a relatively new town center park.  It has the obligatory pond, walking paths, soccer fields, and a terraced area for band concerts.  I’m not into soft music, nor am I into marching band music.  (Nothing personal for those who are.)  However, the other evening, my wife and I attended a music concert at the park.  This concert was more to my liking with a disco band called Motor Booty Affair.  These guys were good! 

There were probably easily a thousand people in attendance, and all ages, from children who were six months old to adults easily in their 80s.  Lots of moms and dads, and the kids were dancing, laughing and having a good time.  I hadn’t been to a live concert in quite a while and it was interesting to see the difference since the last time.  Instead of the air being filled with the usual smoke of some illegal substance,   the air was filled with the smell of grease and cholesterol from fried dough and hamburgers.  This put a whole new spin on a live “rock” concert.

It was a lot of fun, but certainly different than my memories from 30+ years ago. 

Talk Is Cheap – Use it

I recently had the opportunity to fly a new airline called Skybus.  They are a startup based out of Columbus Ohio.  They fly into Portsmouth New Hampshire which is just a 45 minute drive from the Portland area, and about the same from Boston.  Their business model is they fly only point to point. There are no connecting flights.  Twice a day a plane flies from Columbus to Portsmouth and back.  That’s it.  They do the same to several other cities.

Their corporate staff has several people who served at Southwest Airlines, and Ryanair for quite a few years, so I thought these folks would understand operating a discount airline that provides good service and low prices.  I was right.

On my recent trip to Ohio, I flew out on a Thursday evening and returned Sunday night.  Night in this case was the operative word.  Our flight was scheduled to leave Columbus at 7 pm and arrive in Portsmouth about 8:30.  When I arrived at the gate on Sunday evening around 6pm, I learned (along with about 140 other people) that our plane had a mechanical problem and could not fly.  That’s when the fun began.

Naturally a lot of people were upset, and a huge throng immediately gathered around the gate attendant.  I felt bad for her because she had just learned of the problem and now had to immediately deal with it.  She did.  She calmly explained the problem, listened to the chatter of several upset customers at one time, and clearly explained the situation as best she could.  Within a few minutes she also had several viable options for our crazed crowd.  We could take another flight the next day, we could cancel our flight and get our money back and then be free to see what another airline may have available, or we could wait for a later plane.  None of the options were great, but that’s what we had to deal with. 

I was impressed by the fact that she took the time to talk with each passenger that had a question, and she remained calm and professional throughout the process.  My attitude is that sometimes “Stuff Happens” and you have to go with the flow.  I chose to wait for the next available plane,  We flew out at 3 am and I was home in bed by 6 in the morning.  I was up by nine for the day.

The lesson here: The gate attendant did a good job of communicating with us, she gave us the straight scoop….No BS…she kept here sense of humor, (more than some of our crowd) and we were presented with what I thought were the best choices available. I plan to fly Skybus again.I also learned that 3 hours of sleep did not hurt my golf game later that day….it was mediocre as usual.

Just What The World Needs…Another Blog!

I decided to write this blog because everyone in the speaking-consulting-internet marketing business says you should have a blog.  That’s nice.  So here is mine.  Frankly I think you should get out of the house and get some fresh air.  With that said I will post my thoughts on Sales, Sale Training, Marketing, Advertising and other wonderful things.